#RelationshipGoals

“…now it’s back to broke, refund check used that to float…” as J Cole mentioned in his Rich Niggaz track off of his Born Sinner album. I actually have it on while I am writing this. This album & specifically this song as well as Mo Money was on repeat for a whole summer while I was a housekeeper before my senior year in college. Thank God for family connections & my refund check that semester otherwise that would have been a long & broke summer. Refund checks are literally more money left over from financial aid after your tuition bill is paid. Now you SHOULD save this money or use it to pay back the interest on your loans BUT it has helped millions of students like myself survive while in college. No it was not my main source of income because it wasn’t like I was getting even close to what some students were getting back. But it did help when I had some bills due and my little part time money wasn’t enough.
Now the relationship I was in at the time Born Sinner came out was very stressful at times. Mentally it was too much. There was a disconnect. Here I am at age 20 trying to work and completely support myself, stay & do well in school, continue to write and do my poetry and now was expected to wine & dine a person who was a walking and talking #RelationshipGoals post. Sometimes the only thing I could afford was 4 wings fried hard, shrimp fried rice please hold the vegetables & a Arizona green tea. Let’s split it and be grateful our bills are paid.
That was not enough though. I love social media but I am not it’s slave and I understand how people can become so addicted and believe this is real life. Relationship goals are nice but if you think broke days are beneath you good luck in America. I’m not hating on those who are more fortunate than me. Not at all. I am trying to get to the fortune. I come from a single parent home, 5 siblings & more bills than money or food for that matter. I am no stranger to broke days & I am not embarrassed about it. This was a joke to my not so significant other though. More complaints about me not having this or having that. Like damn, can I get a dollar since we asking for money? I’m the one with bills boo! Being on all my favorite social sites (especially Twitter) I see that I am not the only one who feels this way. You live at your moms house (that’s okay a lot of people do), you don’t pay rent or buy food, mom and/or dad still spots you some daily money, you don’t even pay your cellphone bill but you EXPECT to travel and shop on someone else’s tab and when this doesn’t happen? ‘You broke, I need me somebody with some bread.’
That relationship was a bust. I don’t know what college student has a large amount of self earned wealth. It would be so funny to me because this individual was totally 100% supported by their parents. There was no finding a job or paying rent or any of that. Money was deposited into their account every two weeks and that was it. Everyone else swore they had it like that but, come on. Will the real college students please stand up? It used to piss me off because I decided to go to college as a personal decision and I had to learn how to survive on my own through undergrad. If you want to ride while I’m broke and shine when I make it then be a real rider or please exit before I have to push u out. Not complaining or seeking sympathy just stating facts. Help did come a few times but it’s hard trying to explain how $100 doesn’t really do much for a college student in this new day and besides….it’s nothing like having your own. I can help with bills but no, I can’t support your relationship goal fantasies. Sorry but I was a traditionally broke college student, putting money together with friends for dinner, or creatively cooking a meal in my dorm and I am not embarrassed to admit that. I have embraced the highs, the lows, hard times finding employment, trying to figure out where in the world to live and the long stressful nights of ‘what if everybody who doubted me is right?’
I say all this to say, don’t get so caught up on what the rich are doing that you go broke before you see a rich day. Or lose a good thing because they dont have enough money. I am not saying support a professional bum. I am saying think of some other relationship goals and don’t get wrapped up in the material things.

With love,

-Mo Shands

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